Tuesday, May 17, 2011


I am crying real badly now.

I really don't like how we talked to each other tonight.
Why with all the attitude and the irritation.
We were both feeling irritated for don't know what reasons.
I just don't like this feeling of it.

I met up with my friends and you were in school.
It started from the phone calls.

Or maybe it already started with me feeling angry in school, did I vent it out on you unknowingly?
I am sorry, I really didn't mean to if I did. I am really sorry.

I didn't cry so badly since don't know how long ago?
With the uncontrollable tears.
They just fall, drop by drop. Down by cheeks into my hands and laps.
They even slowly drip them anymore.
They drop, big drops of them.
I can't even remember when I started tearing; I didn't even realise I was crying.

I feel real real real sad now. Over the situation I guess.
I don't like this, I hate it.
We aren't even arguing with each other, or angry at each other for something.
Or perhaps I did something wrong I didn't know.

The cold, flu and the migraine headache make the irritated feeling worse, I am sorry.

I really do hope that, tomorrow, when we wake up, everything will be okay.

I am sorry.
I really don't like this, this is just to saddening for me.

I haven't cried so badly for such a long time, I thought I had forgotten this feeling.

Today ain't a good day, I shouldn't vent it out on you or even anyone else.
Shouldn't expects anyone to do much.
I should stop relying on people too much, expecting to automatically comfort and give in to me, yes even jellybean.
I need to find back my independency, seriously.

I should try to go sleep and hope when I wake up tomorrow, everything will be okay and alright.

Stress and feeling tired, they make things worse.
I shouldn't blame anything, it's like finding excuses.
I only got myself to reflect to.

I thought I will get strong, but am still that vulnerable self with the layers of self protection I give myself.

I am sorry, really am.
I don't want anything like this to happen ever again, please.

Good nights

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